The Return to Innocence
Healing the Inner Child Within
Did you know that up to 90% of the destructive patterns and behaviors that we find ourselves trapped in can be directly linked back to child hood experiences and trauma? That the conflicts that you find yourself in within your loving adult relationships likely reflect a wounding from your youth related to a parent figure? Reconnecting to the Inner child is an integral part of the work that I do with my clients to help them better understand their sabotaging behaviors.
I spent many years of my life riddled with anxiety, always worried that my spouse was going to leave me and seeking out things that would affirm my beliefs. In many instances I would unconsciously create conflict in an effort to draw my partner closer, to make him show me he loved me and provide me with assurance that he wouldn’t ever leave me. Creating a tug of war of tension and unease for him to try and navigate.
Meeting my inner child changed everything for me. When I began my exploration I was met by a sweet 6 year old girl playing in the sand box by herself. As I engaged with her it became abundantly clear that she was extremely lonely and didn’t feel as though she had any support. Reflecting on the memories I had from that time in my life my body became flooded with anxiety and sadness. I recalled my parents had separated at that time and my little sister was no more than a year old and required a lot of attention. I remembered feeling like I had been forgotten and there was a guilt and shame that washed over me from having believed that I was the cause of my parents separation. It was uncanny how every emotion that little girl was experiencing was a match to the state I would find myself in when my husband was late getting home from work or didn’t respond to my texts. The codependency was high but, I will save that topic for another day.
Understanding the Inner Child
We all have experiences from our childhood and young adult years that carry a degree of sorrow, guilt, shame, anger; that if not nurtured or given the space to be processed with love and understanding can store in the nervous system and psyche as wounding and create dis-ease in our present moment.
Unhealed wounds from childhood can manifest in adulthood as:
Fear of abandonment
People-pleasing tendencies
Difficulty setting boundaries
Deep-seated insecurities
Fear of rejection or criticism
Explore Your Healing
Using journaling exercises and breathwork journeys I assist my clients in revisiting the versions of their younger selves that are crying out for attention. Once we have identified the emotional need that has gone unmet within; we can begin to reparent ourselves and provide the emotional support that your younger self so desperately needed.
Reparenting Your Inner Child
Creating open dialogue by allowing your inner child to speak through a written letter and responding to your younger self, offering the love and reassurance you needed at that time. This can be done over and over and for every version of the inner child that is asking to be seen,
Engage in activities you loved as a child. Drawing, dancing, playing outside, splashing in puddles or simply being silly!
Journaling Prompts:
"What did I need to hear as a child that I never did?"
"What was I often criticized for, and how can I nurture that part of myself now?"
"If my inner child could speak, what would they say?"
Breathwork & Visualization:
Close your eyes, place your hand on your heart and imagine your breath entering and exciting through your heart space expanding and softening it. Now envision your younger self sitting across from you. Just notice them for a moment and sense how they are feeling. Now ask, What do they need?
Breathe deeply and envision yourself embracing them, offering safety, love, and the reassurance they have asked for.
Affirmations for Inner Child Healing:
"I am safe, I am loved, I am enough."
"I give myself permission to play, to feel, to heal."
"I nurture my inner child with kindness and compassion."
